Twilight, Stephanie Meyer, Progress: Page 68

Let me start off by saying that this book has been a great inspiration to me. I had simply so many sarcastic comments running through my head that I decided I needed a place to come jot them down. You are looking at the result. This is my small corner of the internet where I'm going to review (and in some cases, as you will soon see, make fun of) some books.

That said, I do not know why I am currently reading Twilight. I feel that I have been led into a trap. I was told there were vampires. I like vampires. They kill things. People named Van Helsing chase them. Father Callahan confronts them with crucifixes. There are epic battles at night-time, and the town is dormant in the day as the undead lords lurk in their coffins. At no point do vampires examine slides in Biology class. I rest my case.

I've decided to make a Randon-cut of this book. The difference is that I take out every description of Edward being beautiful. For example, "I was in danger of being distracted by his livid, glorious face." (Twilight, pg. 65). I really appreciate that Meyer is reaching out to the Alzheimer's community and reminding us every three lines that Edward is inhumanly (ooo...that was foreshadowing) beautiful, but even lobotomy patients are getting tired of it by Edward's third scene. The Randon-cut of this book so far is 50% shorter by current estimation.

I have found a fun game to keep me reading through the descriptions though. Every time Edward's voice is described as "musical" (I'm not sure how that's even possible), I take it literally. In my mind, the scene freezes; a spotlight hits Edward, and he sings. (Beautifully, of course.) I chuckle to myself and move on. Everyone loves a good love musical about (lame) vampires.

Turning the page,
Randon